Sing with me: “far, far awaaaay”. Lanugage under the cut. Don’t read if you’re easily offended.F*cking far away, far out of my comfort zone.
Wow, I am way out of my comfort zone. This is outright scary. Why the hell did I decide to do this? Can I possibly do this? I am not smart enough to do this! There is no way in hell I am going to do this! I am an imposter trying to look smart who hasn’t been found out yet. They will throw me out and burn my desk after when they find out how dumb I really am.
Please excuse my language. It has been a long day. Also I’ve had a beer.
For the first time today I have visited my new workplace. It’s huge, impressive and all the people who are working in my department look like models out of a catalogue. No joking. I don’t know why, they just do. And their language abilities are surreal. They speak way better than I do and I feel like a duck that’s been thrown into a pond of swans. If you have ever had a chance to watch a duck in a pond together with swans, I can assure you, it’s not great for the duck. When I was in GB, I once watched them. Swans might look all smooth and white and pretty, like bird-models, but when they see a duck, they attack and rip out the duck’s feathers and don’t let it have any of the bread that the people are throwing into the pond, because swans are so much better than ducks!
After talking to my best friend in the world, though I feel much much better.And I think I even have a battle plan.
I think what I have to do now is get some swan feathers, stick ’em to my head and pretend to be a swan until my job is finished. Also I should learn how to swim and eat and sleep and talk like a swan so that I can be more like them and maybe even come close to becoming a one. Give me the white paint baby, cause mamma’s going to be a swan!
*sigh* If it was just this easy.