I just came back from going out with my colleagues for the last time, because tomorrow is my last day at work there. I feel kind of emotional because even though my new job will probably be amazing, I like my old colleagues, they are really nice people and leaving is really hard… Nevertheless I have to. But I don’t want to. I want to stay with my new colleagues and friends and in my old apartment, never leaving my comfort zone ever again.
As I said, I am being emotional. Not logical.
The rational part of my brain knows that at my new job I will have a better salary, more chances to meet more people, I will learn so much more, it’ll be a great thing for my resume and I really hope my career will take off after that.
Nevertheless, I feel so sad leaving this small town and the places and people I got to know. Even though I know that I will never be where I want to be if I stayed. So why do I feel heartbroken? I am just glad that this is a decision that is not reversible, because right now I would totally stay here instead of pursuing my wonderful dreams which is really stupid (again). I feel like my heart is a five-year old who is rolling on the floor, crying “I wanna stay, I wanna stay” while my mind – the grown-up part – has to reason with it: “But its no use, you won’t be happy if you stay.” *sigh*
Maybe I should put myself to bed now before I stop making any sense at all.